Trapped

Tawagoto...

There is an interesting word in Japanese.
"Mujyo", which means "impermanence" in English.

This is kind of old word that mostly can be seen in old Japanese lliteratures, but not in everyday conversation. In fact, I learned this word in class. I like the sound, letter, and meaning. I don't know why people don't use this such beautiful word any more. We have so much words from foreign language which simply pronounce its original with Japanese-accent, and at the same time, we are loosing so many incredible words of our own. I believe the beauty of Japan exists in our language, so this fact is making me so...I don't know what to say.

"Mujyo" is a word that expresses the beauty and melancholy of the natural cycle of the world. Japan has distinct four seasons and everything dramatically changes one season to another, that is, I assume, why this word was invented. Also it expresses the change of feelings as time passes. It expresses that there is nothing stays the same forever whether good or bad. Yes, "whether good or bad"...People tend to take a "change" as a bad sign, but Mujyo gives people the idea that change is a natural cycle of the world we live, so accept as it is rather than afraid or cry for it. Time is moving only one way and, indeed, we should respect that to focus on this moment you live.

There is, however, an interesting facct. "Mujyo" can also be translated as "heartless" by use of different character but the same sound. Isn't it ironic? "impermanebce"="heartless"? ...Japanese is so interesting, in other word, weird. Even though I have been learning and speaking for whole my life, still don't understand anything about it. Change is something you cannot avoid, so you had better admit and move on, but sometimes it is so hard that you cannot easily "move on". Time is so cruel.

The One

My life is moving while you shine on me.

Planets

The vast land.
The vast sky.
The vast world.

How can I hate this world?

Nights

Sleepless nights.
Empty nights.

When the sun falls.

Illusion, or delusion?

Something serious for a change...

There is one thing about American culture I realized.
American people tend to enjoy being categorized in several groups; school, hometown, community etc. That's why people proudly wear silly (oops, excuse me.) sweat shirts which has a college name or some kind of name of group on. I can never do that in Japan. Going out with a sweat shirt with my school's name on? Hella no! (First of all, I can never wear sweat shirt to go out in Japan.)
It is ridiculous, however, understandable. Because it is such a big country and there are so many people from different cultural and geographical background, there isn't one common trait they all share. They don't say "We, Americans..." but "I'm half Irish and German", "I'm Italian", or "I'm quater Japanese, French and German and blah blah blah (even though doesn't look like any of them)..." while in other countries, people proudly and naturally say "We, Japanese...", or "We, Australians...". Someone said that America is not "melting pot", but "mixed salad" which each one of them still keeps their shapes in one bowl. Make sense. People need something they can stick on so that they can feel safe and comfortable in this largely diversed country. They say they respect individualism, but in fact, they are the most afraid to be individual because it equals to loneliness for them. I feel like individualism is more respected in Japan, the most unlikely country people might think. Hard to explain, but it is. This is probably one of the reasons I feel uncomfortable being here...