lost

Lost of concentration.
Lost of focus.
Lost of motivation.
Lost of myself.

That is when I see real me.

another year

I have just received an airmail from Australia this afternoon - yes, it was from my dearest (second) family in Tasmania. Although I tend to forget their birthdays (o-oh), surprisingly I have never spent my birthday without receiving a card or email from them. How weird it is that every time I see the round handwriting of my mom, I mean my host mother back then, it brings me back to the age of 17, when I spent the best year of my life ever in the far south small city, Hobart, Tasmania. When I went back a couple winters ago, there was nothing had been changed since I left - except the mall right by the college(meaning high school)had a "new-big-automatic-door entrance". People are the same peaceful and kind people as before; downtown is no bigger than a couple blocks as before; the ocean is as blue as ever. The town (city, excuse me) of Hobart never changes. So as my family over there - only things changing are their garden status and pets. This stillness in the town and the family gives me a great feeling of comfort and safety, and it has become a sanctuary for me at some point. I was young, full of energy and hope for the future (which I still am!), ignorant about grownup-world, and free from any social pressure. Every time I hear from my mom in Tasmania, it makes me think of my life past six years. What I had experienced; what I have learned; what made me laugh; what made me cry; what made me feel like "grownup". A life seems long, but it is actually not. Once you are a teenager being ridiculous, and the next moment, you are graduating with a fancy funky hat on your head. And what scares me is how short the period of six years was, and how different I am from six years ago. After all, I am only 23 (in a few days).